This Isn't Tiffany'sToday's special: BURGERS. A quest for the cheapest, the sexiest, the most experiential... breakfast in Toronto.by LINDSAY KEARNSCULTURE, 2/7/99 FOOD Today's Special: BURGERS at Pape and Danforth in lovely T.O. The Scene: 11:30 am on a Sunny Sunday morning....
The Characters: Titus - A Poor and Unemployed Student who spends any money he has on Guitar and Japanese Lessons. The Establishment: A Hole in the Wall with Seating for 11. The Style: Eclectic sculpted Wooden Walls painted Turquoise and Green, with an added section of Faux Stone for extra Ambience. There's an Oil Painting for Sale: $350 for a Still Life of Veggies, a Colander, and a Knife. It's all very Friendly. The Clientele: Mostly old Greek Men. There's a Guy Drinking a Milkshake who looks as though he may be a Student. The Proprietors: An older Woman with a flair for Grandma Makeup and brown Hair Dye. Her companion is a Mid-Forties Man with no chin and Confidence oozing from his pores; he Smokes on the Job, which would be Classy and Romantic in our Books.... except that he's the Chef. The Menu: Most Expensive Item - Steak & Eggs @ $6.50 The Food Itself: After examining the Menu for several Minutes, Titus placed his Order. It was the Same Thing Lindsay had planned on Ordering. After the Ensuing Skirmish, it was decided that it would not actually damage the Artistic Integrity of this review after all if Both ate the Same Thing. The BURGERS Breakfast Special: The Washrooms: Downstairs; no wheelchair access. The Grand Finale: Titus ate Half of Lindsay's bacon as well as all of his own (6 pieces total), but didn't Finish his Toast (left 1/2 slice). Lindsay ate everything of Hers except said Bacon. The Damage: $8.63 (Before Tip) Lasting Impression: Titus is Concerned about the Quality of any food Cooked while Smoking cigarettes, while Lindsay remains Dubious about the effects of consuming Raw Animal Products. With the Untouchable Ambience of a factory cafeteria, the high points here are definitely the Intimate Seating arrangement and the Free-Flowing coffee. Not East Toronto's Best-Kept Secret. ½ email LINDSAY
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